The Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) philosophy is pretty simple but revolutionary--kids do well when they can.  They are oppositional because they have lagging skills (e.g., frustration tolerance, black-and-white thinking, difficulty with transitions) that prevent them from succeeding.  They cannot be forced into behaving well through rewards, punishments, or by force.  These approaches do not remediate the skill deficit, and result in power struggles.  With this in mind, a CPS informed treatment seeks to identify skill deficits and enlist the child in addressing them.  The very act of solving the problem collaboratively helps build empathy, perspective taking, and mental flexibility.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for kids, including mindfulness, involves many useful skills and concepts. Among them is helping kids to identify, locate and rate their feelings. They learn that avoiding the distressing (e.g., situations, people and bodily sensations) actually creates distress. They learn how to notice and modify distorted thoughts and apply relaxation techniques.

Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing (EMDR) uses bilateral stimulation or BLS (e.g. vibrations moving between hands, eye movements, or tones moving from the left to right ear) to assist the child/teen in processing the distressing and unresolved. The approach has two prongs. The first is called resourcing, which involves using BLS to enhance the ability to imagine positive feeling states and capacities (e.g., self-confidence, tranquility). Kids naturally take to this technique. Resourcing is used in combination with the second prong of treatment involving desensitization and reprocessing or decreasing the impact of problematic memories, situations or relationships by having the child/teen imagine aspects of them in a controlled and productive way, while applying BLS. After rounds of processing, they can encounter the problem without feeling a strong emotional and physical response, leading to feeling safety, possibility or mastery where they had previously felt overwhelmed or stuck.

The work of Drs. Dan Siegel and Tina Bryson provides a scientific framework detailing how your child’s mind, brain, and relationships interact. They offer practical suggestions on how to use mindfulness and attention to strengthen connections in the brain and in the parent-child relationship. Parents can gain insight into how to help their child cultivate a healthy mind characterized by resilience, insight, flexibility, and compassion.